Assalam u Alaykum | Peace
I started this blog back in 2016 when I first embarked on my homeschooling journey, hoping that I would document my struggles and musing but I never got around doing so. My homeschooling journey had its ups and down, days of despair and those of joy, many days we did no ‘schooling’ and others when we completed our entire to-do list. There has been so much to learn and so much to enjoy that I am so eager to continue on this path I chose.
In these past years, I went from being the homeschooling Ami-Ji of two bright boys to the Overwhelmed-Ami-Ji of two more blessings in just overnight. Literally. Overcoming this huge blow was very difficult and during this phase of adjusting to the changes in our lives, I gave up.
I gave up homeschooling.
Yes that true. While adjusting to the post-partum difficulties with the boys who had suddenly become more rowdy, rude and undisciplined, I started to feel that I had done it all wrong. If such unruly kids are the product of homeschool then I shouldn’t continue this. I was extremely unhappy with my decision but that seemed to be the right answer then.
I took my eldest son to school for admission in Grade One only to find a drama unfold in front me. A preschooler was having a tantrum, he was hitting children, teachers and causing a predicable chaos. The principal was livid, she asked for that child’s parents to be called as it was the fifth day by now and they were not going to put up with such disruptive behavior any longer.
When the mother was called, she had to listen to a barrage of insults about her child and her failings as a mother in his upbringing. She had a stricken expression that I still cannot forget and her child clung to her tightly. She did not argue, she just picked up all the belonging and some papers and left.
I wanted to reach out to her.
I wanted to tell her to take that expression off. Do not despair about his education and learning. The child’s behavior was not out of the ordinary. You, the mother, only you can take proper charge of his learning because Allah chose you to be his mother. He made you the only perfect person who can adapt to this child’s individual needs. Do not go seeking another institution for they will never invest as earnestly in your child’s development as you would.
You would only end up frustrated at your child for not fitting in.
But I could not tell her this. I had given up on what I wanted to tell her.
One month later, I went back to the school and cancelled my son’s admission. In this duration, I had to do everything I disliked just to have my son ‘fit in’. I compromised in his Deen, I had to overlook his feelings and completely discard the love of learning he had just to follow an established routine. This was not the life I wanted to live and not what I wanted to give to my son.
The game had to change.
We were back to homeschooling but this time around both of us were able to appreciate what we missed. Despite the tear and difficult times, we look forward to our days. I am thankful for being able to take an active part in their growth.
When I decided to resume blogging, I had to rethink of what I would actually write about. I could write a journal-like blog but I know that would not be as interesting. We rarely try new and funky homeschool projects and I would not want to force myself to organize them just to have something to blog about. What about printable? A blog with abundant resources is always cool but there are so many of those out there that I did not want to dedicate my time reinventing the wheel. Though I would not mind sharing these subjects, I do not want it to be my goal.
Then I remembered that mother. I remembered my own despair, my dark feelings of incompetency and hopelessness. I knew then what will be my primary goal of blogging inshallah. From this blog, I hope that I could reach out to parents whether they homeschool or not and tell them they can take charge of their child’s education. I wish to give them hope and courage to take over the despair that seizes when you feel unsure about your child’s learning and upbringing. With that in mind, I would like to make Bismillah to blogging!
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Excellent idea & work
Fantastic blog and effort
This is great! All the best to you in your efforts InShaAllah
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As salaamu alaykum!
Reall Love this! Allaahumma baarik.
May Allaah reward you fully for your good niyyah my dear sister. I’ve just had a quick look on your blog and I really enjoyed reading through each post. May Allaah give you tawfeeq in what you want to achieve in helping us mothers, and may Allaah make us the best examples to our children so they grow to be the coolness of our eyes, beloved to Allaah & grow to succeed in all things khayr, aameen.
Sometimes us homeschooling mums can really doubt ourselves, we go through these little phases of self doubt, but reading posts like this can really uplift you and make you feel better, and that’s such a blessing and wonderful thing that you want to share that positivity and boost and goodness to other mamas. Allaah bless you and your family 🌸